Tag Archives: living life

What Do You Live For

This is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself when trying to find happiness in life…at least according to me.  What do you live for?  Understand this…there will always be someone who thinks you’re not doing enough “something” in your life.  You don’t work out enough, you don’t eat well enough, you don’t know enough history, you haven’t thought enough about the future, you don’t have enough money, you watch too much TV, etc…

The thing with life is that there are hundreds of billions of things to know and do, and you are never, no matter how much you try, going to know or do each one of those things inside and out.  So never mind what other people say.  Stop reading things in social media where people wax poetic about how knowledgeable they are about politics, or how to stop ISIS, or global warming…and how stupid you are if you aren’t paying attention to your vitamin D intake.  Find what you live for, and live for it.  If you love your family, then do things with your family, and live for that.  If you like to travel, get out there and explore.  If you’re an educator, educate the world.  Or if you like watching TV or movies, sit your happy ass on your couch, and watch what you like.  And I’m not saying only choose one, but find the things you live for, and live for them.  If it changes because your heart wants to do something more, follow it.  But don’t follow another person down the path of what they live for because they tell you that you should.

And if you have no idea what you’re living for, and you have no idea what makes you happy, then try stuff out.  Dip your toe in, or jump in head first, but try new stuff.  Travel, shop, draw, bartend, learn a new language, whatever.  Remember, there’s hundreds of billions of things to know and do, so I’m sure you’ll find something.   I only have two disclaimers…one, this does not include things that are illegal, or harmful (physically or emotionally) to yourself or others.  And two, understand that there are some things you have to learn to live for.  For example, if you have kids, you’re already committed to living (at least) some of your life for them.

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Reflections of the Future

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned a lot of things.  One of those things is that nothing in life is guaranteed.  I know, we’ve heard it all before, but whenever I hear that I always think of it in an abstract kind of way.  Recently, I’ve put more thought into it, and I can see it in practice.

When I was younger, I was taught not to view everyone as a friend, and I think I took that advice.  I was under no delusion that the people i knew in high school were actually friends, and would actually be there for me when I needed them.  After high school, there were a handful of those friends who stuck with me, and we began to build upon that relationship.  All throughout my 20’s, these were the people I would ride or die for.  These were my friends.  In my 20’s, I was sure that these were the people I would know for the rest of my life.

Then, in my 30’s, those same friends were still with me, but life began to change.  Those individuals were getting married and having kids, and moving onto another stage in life.  Luckily, the foundation we created during our younger years allows us to still stay close, but what we used to do, no longer was happening.  The every weekend hangouts evolved into seeing them on special occasions.  As this happened, my weekend nights were taken over by new acquaintances.  These new acquaintances showed me new experiences; things I had never really thought I would do and enjoy.  I’ve even gone out of the country with these new acquaintances.  I never saw that coming.

As I approach my late 30’s, I still know these same people and enjoy spending time with them.  I’ve also learned that I enjoy spending time with myself, travelling, and trying new food.  My point is, what I knew about my life when I was younger is not quite what it is now.  It’s all a part of growing up, and anyone older than I could have told me this would happen.

Truth is, I never had anything really planned out, with the exception of a loosely targeted career.  But I had ideas.  Ideas that fell within my, then, current comfort zone.  But, the changes I’ve experienced, though not major, have given me a new outlook.  I don’t expect that things will move too far beyond my comfort zone, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.  And honestly, that unknown is actually exciting, not scary.

I know that in five or ten years, I could be right where I am.  Or I could be living somewhere overseas.  I may be married with two kids (I think two is my max, but who knows), or I could be single (not my preference).  I’m old enough to realize that life is a gift, and whatever happens in it should be embraced.  There’s going to be pain, and hurt (hell, there could be disease and disability in my future) and I’ll have to deal with that, but there will also be opportunity, possibility, and tons of happiness if I allow it.  That’s what I don’t think many could prepare me for.  They couldn’t prepare me for how excited I’d be for what’s ahead, and I find that interesting…how everyone views the future differently.  That’s not to say I’m not embracing my present.  I’m doing much more of that these days as well.  I guess what I’m saying, is that this life thing…it’s pretty neat.  I pray that I have plenty of days ahead of me to embrace it like I’ve never done before.  Just my thoughts.

Flush….

 

Life’s a Beach (Real Talk)

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We have all probably heard of the term, life’s a bitch.  Well, have you heard the term, life’s a beach?  I heard it sometime ago, and though I understood the play on words, I can’t say that I understood it’s meaning.  Then I went on vacation, and it made sense to me, so I wanted to share my understanding with you.

There are plenty of things going on while on the beach.  There are people trying to sell you stuff, and there are people who are paying no attention to you.  There are those who are relaxing and enjoying the sun, and those who are chasing kids around, and keeping them out of trouble.  There are those who are swimming around in the water, and those who are just walking up and down the beach aimlessly.  As I said, lots going on, if you’re paying attention.  Just as in life, you will pass people on a regular basis, who are all doing different things for different reasons.  But it’s very busy.

In addition, you will find different types of people.  Obviously, there are many races, religions, and depending on where the beach is, many different nationalities.  You will notice that there are those who are there to have fun.  They will find fun no matter what, and they will be loud about how much fun they are having.  Then there are the people who want to make friends.  They figure, we are all here for the same reason, and having someone good to talk to only enhances the experience.  There are also those who just want to be left alone.  They are there for themselves.  They don’t want to make friends, but they do want to have fun…fun with either just themselves or whomever they are there with.  There are also the parents who are only there for there kids to have a good time.  There are people who look like models in their bathing suits, but most of them are very average.  You get my point.

The fact is, the beach has a lot going on, with many different kinds of people enjoying it…just like life.  During my trip, I made a few other observations.  On a few of the mornings, it rained heavily for about 30 minutes.  There were also some people who decided to sensitive issues (politics, healthcare, etc…), which was probably inappropriate considering they had just met; I think some feathers got ruffled.  There were some people who were loud, obnoxious, and very irritating.  There were people who got in your space, asked personal questions, and sometimes the staff didn’t seem very polite.  But from what I could tell, most people didn’t let these things bother them.  And why didn’t they let these things bother them?  Because, regardless of all of these irritations, they were still on a beach….how could you be mad when you’re hanging out on the beach?

We should all have that same mentality when it comes to life.  All of these things going on, and all of these possible irritants…we let them get to us.  Big issues, or little ones….they bothers us and prevent us from seeing that despite it all, we are living.  We have been given life.  How could you, or why would you, be upset when you’re on this beach?

Life is your beach.  It may not be pretty everyday.  It may rain, or you may step on a shell.  Hell, you might even get stung by a jelly fish.  But you’re on a beach.  You’ve been given this life, and while you’re on that beach, you should enjoy every moment of it.

As always, just my two cents.  Have a great week!!

Wishing Time Away (Real Talk)

My apologies for the delay in this weeks Real Talk.  Superbowl Sunday, unfortunately, had me preoccupied yesterday.  But nevertheless, here we are.

I’ve alluded, on a few occasions, to having written a few of these posts in the past.  I’ve normally copied and pasted the previous posts.  This week, I am again going to bring up a topic I’ve written about in the past, but I’m not going to copy and paste.

Today, I want to talk to you about living your life to the fullest, everyday.  More specifically, I want to talk to you about making the most out of your Monday to Friday, as well as your weekend.  I, like a lot of you, look forward to my weekends.  I enjoy my weekends, whether I’m relaxing at home, running around getting things done, or partying it up.  But, I like you, have “wished my weekdays away.”  I have treated Monday to Friday as life’s stepchildren.  We all do it.  “I can’t wait until the weekend,” or “I can’t wait until 5pm Friday,” and not doing anything productive in the meantime.

Think about it though.  Monday, to 5pm Friday, is 113 hours per week.  In one year, that’s 5,876 hours.  Assuming these feelings started when you entered the workforce (approximately age 22), and that you’d retire at 65, that’s 43 years.  That’s 252,668 hours.  Average life expectancy in the US is about 77, which is 674,520 hours.  Certainly, there are a lot of other factors that play into the calculations, but just on the surface, you will wish away over 1/3 of your life.

As I mentioned, there are other factors to consider, but my point is that a weekday should be considered just as special as a weekend.  Sure, you don’t have the luxury of doing whatever you want during a portion of those days, but that doesn’t mean they should be considered lost days.  You can still get out and do things…see people you care about…do things that you love.  It takes a little motivation at times, but you can do it.  And for those of you with families, you are not exempt.  Sure, you may have homework with the kids, cleaning, blah blah blah.  Those are just excuses (says the man with no wife or kids, lol).  But seriously, this is your life too.  Babysitters exist during the week, and there are lots of activities that can include your kids.  You just have to make the effort.

Giving yourself only two days to call your own each week is unfair to you.  It is doing life a disservice.  So don’t wish over 1/3 of your life away.  Take that with you on your journey this week.

Have a good one!!