I once heard…though it’s quite possible that I’m making this up, in which case I’ll take credit…..that life, in it’s most basic and simplest form, is a series of decisions. What time should I set my alarm for? How much can I snooze it? What should I eat for breakfast. All decisions you have to make for the morning, and this isn’t nearly half of them.
See, as we gather information (1am means bedtime, growling stomach means I’m hungry) we are then prompted to make decisions. Almost everything we do is based on a conscious evaluation of available data, and then a conscious action. This is not always the case as we do not consciously control our breathing or heart beat, though these are necessary functions. We also may not make conscious decisions when it comes to life or death split second reactions, like moving out of the way of an surprise oncoming vehicle. Even then a decision is made, just not one that you had time to think of.
It’s this decision making followed by an action that helps us live a fulfilling life. It’s also the same thing that gets us in trouble sometimes. It’s important to take cues from the data and react, but sometimes the reaction is to do nothing. It’s a decision, and it’s an action, but it’s seemingly less dynamic than what we are programmed to do. The actions we take can get us into trouble when we have evaluated the information incorrectly. This typically happens when there is a lack of information. We sometimes get ourselves into trouble by allowing the action to be an emotional confrontation. This serves no purpose, and your action will likely be met with an emotional reaction (that other person or group of people are choosing to act as well).
I am not a faithful church goer, but I feel I have a good relationship with God. Whether or not you do, is up to you, but I think it’s an important relationship to have. So much that I have to continue to learn that if I put my faith in Him, that things will turn out okay. They may not turn out how I want them, but they will be okay. And sometimes, when I want to act on my interpretation of data, I have to think about what God is truly telling me, or not telling me. Most of the time, he’s telling me to let him handle it. Whatever needs to be done, will be done….and maybe I’ll see it and maybe I won’t. But I have to have that faith. He has said, “Vengeance will be mine.” If I don’t, I risk doing more damage than good.
For those of you who do not believe in God, look at it this way. The world is about balance. Maybe not specifically in your life, though I’m sure if you took a good hard (and honest) look at it, you’d see just how balanced it is. But since the world is about balance, anything that’s happening to you…any wrongdoing that someone has committed against you, as long as you choose not to react, the pendulum will swing the other way. You have to believe that. If you react, and your response is just as toxic, you’re likely to be on the bad end of things once balance is sought.
I know this sounds so out there, and even as I write this I feel like I’m trying to sell you a book, but I’m not. I’m just trying to share something that I constantly have to re-learn. Just as recently as today, a series of emails at work were sent, and I was clearly thrown under the proverbial bus. My immediate thought, after analyzing the information, was to attack back. I had the facts that weren’t being shared, and I had the venom to make someone else’s day (really just that moment) as bad as mine. But I didn’t. I sat quietly, and waited to see if balance would vindicate me. And though it didn’t happen quite how I wanted, the truth was brought to light. And once it was, I would have been well within my rights (at least I thought so) to rub it in, but I didn’t. I simply replied with the facts available, and even removed people from the email that didn’t need to know that these other people were idiots. LOL, I can say that now.
My point being is that having a belief that your wrongs will be righted, and they don’t have to be always righted by you, will make your life a little less stressful. It will prevent you from doing things that you’ll eventually regret. It will stop you from making big mistakes that are life altering. I’m not saying you should never react. Sometimes, that’s just what the situation warrants. Just understand that some decisions can be to just do nothing and wait for balance to be restored.