If you ever want to truly get to know someone, spend approximately 48 straight hours with them. This number can certainly change depending on the individual in question. The initial high, natural or artificial, that normally accompanies a brief period of hanging out tends to wear off within that time frame. Don’t believe me?
Think about it. How many people do you call your buddy, or good friend, that you only seem to see at the bar? Hopefully not many. But what about coworkers, or friends of friends that you like hanging out with at bars? You feel you know them. You’ve seen them drunk and sober. They’ve talked about their jobs and friends. You know all about their spouses, significant others, and family. But how well do you really know them? The bar only offers an opportunity to see your “friend” in one state of mind. Yes, the state of mind has different frequencies, but it’s all basically the same. Sober, drunk, and that weird energetic talkative stage in between that people call buzzed.
The truth is, you haven’t really understood who this person is. I’ve gone on overnight trips with different coworkers that has given me this perspective. Sure, you arrive at your destination and everything is all good because you’re riding that high. Hell, you might even get high, but usually by the next day that’s all fallen flat. Now you meet the real person. Some people are really early risers, while others sleep late and hate when you’re banging around the house. Some people are cranky and some are downright rude. Some don’t like it when all of the orange juice is gone, and some really get pissy when you move or touch their stuff. Oh, and it gets so much worse when you have to now come to an agreement on things like what to do for the day, or who’s going to drive everyone to the place where you’re going. Finding showers when you need them, or leaving the toilet seat up, or not cleaning up after yourself can all be things that shed a new light on this “friend.”
The little knowledge you have of this person is like how we casually relate to the sun. I mean, we know it keep us warm, and greets us in the morning while bidding us farewell at night. But we forget about the other things that happens with the sun…the various solar flares it gives off. The giver of vitamin d, initiating photosynthesis, and the fact that it is the center of our solar system. These friends are so much more than that person you see at the bar, so it’s important that you play your position. That is, be aware that if you take your friendship beyond the boundaries of your frequented water hole, you may not be able to come back from the potential disaster that awaits you.
Me, I’ve been lucky. The friends I have are planners. That is, they lay out the events so very little (of the conflict causing decisions) is left to chance, so things like meals are planned. And you know it ahead of time. They are also good at allowing large chunks of “do whatever you want” time. If it’s a ski trip, you know where and what time you’ll be skiing, and if you’re not into it, that’s fine..do whatever you want. It’s a two-fold attack that allows fun to be had by all and allows everyone to be in a good mood once it’s time to get back on that high (dusk). Still, be aware of the other little intricacies listed above (clean up after yourself). LOL. Anyway, this was just my rambling. No real point. Happy New Year!