I was speaking with a friend today, who has been dating a guy for about 8 months. Over the weekend, when asking him a question, he called her by the name of his ex-girlfriend.
Okay, now that that’s out there, let’s add a few facts.
– He dated his ex-girlfriend for eight years.
– He has a lot of anger toward her.
– He has called my friend by the name of his ex-girlfriend on at least two other occasions.
– He says he didn’t realize he had even called my friend by this other girls name.
– The two names are not similar
I’ve never been faced with this kind of thing before, personally so I don’t know how this works. I mean, my parents have called me by my brother’s name before, and my grandmother used to forget my name all of the time (I miss her), but this is different. How big of an issue is this? Certainly, if the name switch was done during an intimate moment, it could make things very awkward (if not downright ugly). But how big of a deal is this really?
My initial reaction is that it’s a pretty big deal. I wouldn’t want someone calling me by the wrong name, especially the name of an ex. Possibly having it done once or twice is okay, but how many times is too many? At some point, shouldn’t your mind be double and triple checking the name that’s about to come out of your mouth? If you were in church in something happened that made you want to swear, doesn’t something in your mind (most people) prevent you from doing so. When does that same stop-gap measure take place here?
Or, should it all be forgiven based on the length of time she was with her ex? Given the current situation my friend is in, eight years is a long relationship. He’s probably used to saying his ex’s name out of habit. He, hopefully, is not associating any qualities or traits of his ex to his current. Could it be that simple? I guess it’s possible that it’s a subconscious sign that he’s still thinking of her. I’m not sure. What are your thoughts? How would you react?