I remember asking a friend of mine, I want to say it was in my college days, if she masturbated. I was met with an adamant, no!!! Now I know that most women don’t like to talk about what they do, with someone or alone, in the privacy of their own bedroom. I also know that’s it’s probably disrespectful to ask a random woman if they masturbate. However, this was a close friend of mine. I felt that we had a close enough relationship that I could ask. Quite honestly, I believe I asked the question during a drinking, “never have I ever” session. Her response stuck with me.
Now, at the age of 34, I still have come across women my age who refuse to admit that they masturbate. Now, it’s quite possible that these women actually do not masturbate (though sometimes it’s easy to tell when someone is lying). There’s a whole train of thought (see what I did there….probably should be school of thought, but whatever) that says that you should masturbate in order to learn what you like. How will your partner know what to do if you don’t know what you like? I can see the logic behind that. I also wonder, for those who aren’t getting “it” on a regular basis, how the urge to release doesn’t overcome them and lead them to a point of masturbation. Maybe I’m just a guy with no self control, lol.
Then there’s the women who probably actually masturbate, but refuse to admit it. Again, at my younger age, I could understand this thought process, but as someone in their mid-thirties, I’m not sure what the reservation is. Sure, random women may not want to share this information with me. What business of mine is it anyway? I get that, but when having honest conversations with a friend, why the refusal to admit if you are indeed masturbating?
It certainly speaks for the way that men and women are brought up. Most men have no issue admitting it. They sometimes celebrate this fact. But what is it that we tell women in their early years that makes them want to keep hush about their bedroom activities? I’m sure it’s along the same lines of how men can get away with having a ton of sexual partners whereas women can’t have too many for fear of being labeled.
I don’t know how to change this, but men and women are equal. Their sexual exploits should not be viewed differently. I find it crass (yep, I just used the word crass) for anyone to speak too openly about their sexual exploits. I don’t want to hear about a man masturbating in detail, and though because I’m a man I wouldn’t mind hearing about a woman masturbating in detail (no need to call me a pig), I think it all should be kept to oneself and only shared with your partner or close friends playing, “never have I ever.”