Promise you wont hurt me


Before you begin to read, you should know that the title is sarcastic.

I saw something posted on a social media outlet recently that said something to the extent of “if you really love me, you will never hurt me.”  Okay, it’s a sweet sentiment, really it is, but grow up people!!!

If you’re a teenager, stop reading here as this doesn’t apply to you.  Walking around with unrealistic expectations of life in general are a teen rite of passage, lol.  So dream, dreamer.  But for those of you who are 20….fine, let’s say older than 25, you should really stop walking around in a dream.  The hard truth is, life hurts, and that includes love.  Other people are made of flesh and blood just like you, and they are prone to imperfection, more times than not.  To expect that this other person who you are entrusting your heart to will suddenly be perfect and not fail you at some point or another, is a big set up for failure.

I understand that a lot of people say those things because they don’t expect their partner to hurt them purposely, or they want their partner to think about what they do, and how it could affect them.  It’s more of a consideration type thing.  But there are some who truly think being in love means it must be void of hurt.

The simplest, and most common form of love, is between a parent and a child.  I’d like to think that any of you reading this, love your kids or your parents (or both).  However, there are times where one or the other may hurt you.  In most cases, that doesn’t change the love.  In some cases, the hurt is too much to overcome, so much that the relationship may end, but it doesn’t change the fact that there was once love between you and them.  That’s how I see romantic relationships.  Love doesn’t exist in a world empty of hurt.  Hurt is always present, and we (aware of the presence of hurt) tend to operate in a way that prevents love and hurt from interacting….or we try to.

Some might say this is written by someone who has obviously hurt people, and wants an out.  And yes, I am not perfect, and I have hurt people in the past.  I have also been hurt.  What I write doesn’t make the hurt that I felt any less painful, or the hurt that I’ve dealt any more acceptable.  But, we need to take responsibility for our heart.  If we are going to do adult things like get involved in a loving relationship, we must be adults.  Understand that hurt happens, and a true measure of someone’s maturity is distinguishing between blatant disregard for one’s feelings, and the fact that humans are imperfect and sometimes selfish.  The only being you can truly count on never hurting you is God.  I don’t want to turn this into a religious rant, but for those of you who believe, you should already know this to be true.

Anyway, I’m done ranting.  I just wanted to say that just because you may have gotten hurt in a relationship, doesn’t mean that love didn’t actually exist, and someone’s pledge to love you doesn’t mean that they pledge to never hurt you…if they do, they’re lying, or placing a bet against unbelievable odds.  In my relationship, I fully expect my girlfriend to be careful with my heart, and try her best not to hurt me.  If she does that, and still manages to hurt me…I will be upset, I will grieve and maybe have some other feelings in between (you might do the same) but I will also be willing to forgive.  Respect me, my feelings, yourself, and our relationship….I think that’s all I can ask.  But, what do I know?  Still not married, so maybe I’m doing it all wrong.  LOL

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