Monthly Archives: June 2012

Body Cleanse

A few years ago, I did a cleanse that a friend of mine had found on Dr. Oz.  I had decided to do it for no other reason that to see if I could.  Okay, that’s a lie.  I also thought a cleanse could be good.   I mean, I eat what I want, and drink enough alcohol, so it couldn’t hurt.  The 30 day cleanse immediately had you discontinue your consumption of red meats.  It eventually let to no dairy (no cheese, which is really tough for me), and finally to an all raw fruit and vegetable diet.  The cleanse allowed me to discover new ways of making food, and new foods in general.  Since then, I only cook with olive oil, I make fruit smoothies for breakfast (not always), and I make a tasty stir fry with brown rice…I have since added chicken and/or shrimp to it, but nevertheless it’s still good and healthy.

I also apparently lost a noticeable amount of weight.  I wasn’t shooting for it, but I’ll take it.  Anyway, I’m currently in the middle of a  day cleanse which is not nearly as strict.  I am not eating meat (seafood included), no alcohol, and I have eliminated dairy once again (why do I love cheese so much).  During this cleanse, I have discovered beans, and their ability to fill.  And you’d be surprised but humus on a rice cake is damn good.  The only problem is I begin to run out of ideas pretty quickly, which leads me to eating the same things over and over, and that can’t be healthy.  Anyway, tonight I will either just do salad or a stir fry (I have these mushrooms I must use soon), but I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow.

And, I’m four days in, and today I started having meat cravings.  Taco’s to be exact.  Weird.  I guess that’s my threshold.  Anyway, three more days, and I’m back to normal, with a few new food ideas.  That works.

My name is MY name

I was speaking with a friend today, who has been dating a guy for about 8 months.  Over the weekend, when asking him a question, he called her by the name of his ex-girlfriend. 

Okay, now that that’s out there, let’s add a few facts. 

          He dated his ex-girlfriend for eight years. 

          He has a lot of anger toward her. 

          He has called my friend by the name of his ex-girlfriend on at least two other occasions. 

          He says he didn’t realize he had even called my friend by this other girls name.

          The two names are not similar

I’ve never been faced with this kind of thing before, personally so I don’t know how this works.  I mean, my parents have called me by my brother’s name before, and my grandmother used to forget my name all of the time (I miss her), but this is different.  How big of an issue is this?  Certainly, if the name switch was done during an intimate moment, it could make things very awkward (if not downright ugly).  But how big of a deal is this really?

My initial reaction is that it’s a pretty big deal.  I wouldn’t want someone calling me by the wrong name, especially the name of an ex.  Possibly having it done once or twice is okay, but how many times is too many?  At some point, shouldn’t your mind be double and triple checking the name that’s about to come out of your mouth?  If you were in church in something happened that made you want to swear, doesn’t something in your mind (most people) prevent you from doing so.  When does that same stop-gap measure take place here?

Or, should it all be forgiven based on the length of time she was with her ex?  Given the current situation my friend is in, eight years is a long relationship.  He’s probably used to saying his ex’s name out of habit.  He, hopefully, is not associating any qualities or traits of his ex to his current.  Could it be that simple?  I guess it’s possible that it’s a subconscious sign that he’s still thinking of her. I’m not sure.  What are your thoughts?  How would you react?

Showing Some Discipline

What is the proper way to discipline kids these days?

I was reading a sports website earlier, and the comments deviated into a discussion on spanking.  The thoughts on the topic ranged, as you would probably guess, but it got me thinking.  How would I discipline my kids?  I don’t have any kids yet, so I’m not personally faced with this question, but it’s something that I’ve wondered about from a young age.  I had very old school parents, in that they felt that beatings were a proper way to get disciplined.  And frankly, I thought I was lucky as they described getting beat with extension cords in their younger years.  I was happy (not really) that my beatings only consisted of a belt.  I can’t say that it happened often, but it happened often enough, and wasn’t solely for the use by my parents.  Grandparents got their licks in too.  Speaking with friends of mine who had experienced similar discipline made me feel that this was normal.

Looking back on it, I’m grateful for those beatings.  I knew what was going on in my head, and had my parents not expressed their love in this way, I’m almost certain that I’d be in a much different position that I am today.  Did I like it?  Of course not.  Did it get their point across?  Definitely!  I knew what their triggers were, and I knew that they were serious.  Knowing how serious they were, I was able to begin to avoid the things that I knew might trigger them.  I didn’t feel they loved me any less, nor did I feel that they found joy in these beatings.  I even made them work for it at times (remembering a time I ran out of the room and down the stairs to get away from my father).  I was not beaten bloody, and I wasn’t scarred, but I was in enough pain to remember what I did wrong, and to not get caught again.

As I grew up, and as this type of punishment became less acceptable (publicly) I wondered what weapons I would have in trying to teach my kids right from wrong.  Sure, my parents put me “on punishment” and limited things I enjoyed to coerce me into learning how someone should act.  My father, the enforcer, was very clear in his objective.  He didn’t care if I loved him…as long as I grew up to be a good person, he’d known his efforts were successful.  We were not friends.  My mother, the wizard, participated in beatings but she was the queen of the evil eye.  I knew that when she shot me the look, I’d better straighten up or the enforcer would take care of me.  She was more of my friend (at the time).  She reasoned with me, and used other discipline techniques to get her point across.  I think the combination of techniques by the two of them was key.  But where does that leave me?  What do I do if I get a kid like me?

It’s scary, especially since times change so rapidly.  What he or she will be facing in this world will be vastly different than the world I live in.  I never believed in “time out,” and I’m not sure if  punishments alone will be enough.  In the thread I was reading, someone stated that every child is different.  There is no universal way of ensuring kids will stay on the right path and parents will have to adjust accordingly.  I guess that’s true, otherwise a book…a child rearing bible, if you will..would exist.  But that being said, is beating still a tool?  Is a belt too much?  How about a switch?  Open hand smacks on the bottom?  Broad punches to the chest for older boys (referred to as being “knocked” when I was younger)?  What will society allow me to do?  I guess I’ll have to hope I get it right when it’s my turn, but I’m curious to know your thoughts.  For parents, what have you found to be successful when disciplining your child.  For all, are beatings/spankings okay?

Gone Camping

Okay, so as I continue my year of new things and new adventures, I am approaching my weekend of camping.  Yes, this weekend, I will be somewhere upstate NY, sleeping in a tent, and roughing it in the outdoors.  Here’s the thing…I have limited experience with camping.  When I was 8 or 9, I recall sleeping in tents in a friends backyard.  Not quite the same thing right?  How about, approximately 10 years ago, I stayed in a cabin.  This cabin had no running water, or electricity, but we did have a generator.   So I feel if I combine the two experiences, I’ve done some serious camping.

Even with that, I’m not sure what to expect.  I can’t quite picture what a campsite looks like.  I’m not quite sure what we’re going to do all day on Saturday, though I think there’s 12 of us going, so I’m not too concerned about activities.  Fishing, swimming, drinking, cooking, and games will probably take up a lot of time.  Sounds fun too.  Okay, but what about the bears?  I assume this should be a serious concern right?  Everyone says to just make sure we put our food away and the bears will have no reason to come around.  Do menstruating females attract them, lol (Anchor Man reference)?  If we happen to see one, what should we do?  I hear you’re supposed to make a lot of noise and appear big.  Easy to say from the comfort of my own home, but how about in his?  What about deer?  Do they pose a threat?  Will I get any sleep?  Is my camping experience a horror movie waiting to happen?

LOL, okay I’m not THAT concerned.  But it is a new experience that has me excited and slightly nervous.  I will say this, so far this year has been a fun year, and I chalk that up to me doing new things and trying different things, so I imagine this will fall into that as well.

If anyone has any advice or information, or funny stories to share about camping, I encourage them.  It will help me prepare.

Made with Love

My parents being intimate with one another is not a thought I’d like to spend too much time on, and I assume you feel the same. However, for all of us to be here, we know they had to have been intimate at least once, and I accept that.

Recently,  I did a count backwards from my birthday to determine which month I was conceived. Don’t ask why…it crossed my mind so I wanted to know. Turns out, using my crude math skills and limited understanding of pregnancy length (9 months versus actual weeks) I have deduced that I am a product of Valentine’s day. Isn’t that sweet? Proof, that I am made with and from love. Jealous???? Lol

Gun Control

I am fascinated by technology.  In this day and age, it’s involved in every part of our lives, and if I had to guess, it’s involvement in our lives will continue to increase.  However, with such technological advancements, it seems to me that guns continue to be left behind in the stone ages.  Sure, new technology allows for better guns, better shooting ability, and better ammo, but not better control of these dangerous weapons.  With so many murders each year attributed to these weapons, you would think at some point, gun control would become a priority.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think law enforcement agencies and the government as a whole has put a lot of work into getting guns under control, and out of the hands of those who should not be carrying them, but what about aiming at the manufacturers?  What have they done to allow for better control of the dangerous product they produce?  I don’t have intimate knowledge of their efforts, but I can’t help but think they do a bit more.  And I’m no expert, but I do have a proposal.

Guns should have a fingerprint scanner on the handle, or somewhere easily accessible.  When the gun is legally purchased, the new owner should have to register their print with that gun (a small chip in the gun will hold the print registration), kind of like how some laptops will unlock with a fingerprint scan.  Prior to discharging, the owner should have to have their fingerprint scanned to unlock the weapon.  Without this scan, the gun will not discharge. There should also be a timeout period, where after the original scan, the gun will re-lock requiring the individual to scan their fingerprint again.  The chip in the gun should register the amount of shots discharged, as well as a gps location, date and time stamp, that are recorded by a computer housed by the manufacturer.  If a gun owner wishes to sell their gun, the new owner should have to go to a gun store, to have their fingerprint registered with the gun, while having the previous owners registration removed.  For internet sales, or sales that may not happen face to face, the previous owner should have to give some sort of authenticated consent form to have themselves removed from the registration.  You should also be allowed to register more than one individual to a gun, but maybe there should be a max as well.

I think a restriction similar to this will eliminate accidental shootings, typically by young kids who have no idea what they’re doing, and reduce the amount of shootings that happen with illegally purchased guns in the streets.  If someone murders someone with a legal gun, and discards the gun, the manufacturer (or police) should be able do a search for guns discharged in a given area at a given time based on the gps recording.  This would allow law enforcement to identify the prints registered with the gun.  I’m sure there are flaws to my idea, but I’m no expert.  In theory, in my head, it works.  I’ll leave it to the experts to fill in the blanks, but I don’t see a major downside.  Some might say that this type of thing might make owning a gun nearly impossible because the expense would be too high.  I don’t know about all of that.  I know a cell phone costs about $500, and the things its capable of is rather amazing when you think about it.  And though owning a gun, in the U.S, is considered to be a constitutional right, nowhere in the constitution does it say the cost of one has to be affordable.  Lastly, the last time I checked, the price of a human life far exceeded the price of any material object we possess, so I don’t really see it as an issue.

Certainly the gun companies have lobbyists and have their way of influencing the government, and anything that will see a reduction in sales will probably not happen.  I just sometimes wish, that we as a people, would stop putting money ahead of what we know is right.  Just my two cents….

I touch myself

I remember asking a friend of mine, I want to say it was in my college days, if she masturbated.  I was met with an adamant, no!!!  Now I know that most women don’t like to talk about what they do, with someone or alone, in the privacy of their own bedroom.  I also know that’s it’s probably disrespectful to ask a random woman if they masturbate.  However, this was a close friend of mine.  I felt that we had a close enough relationship that I could ask.  Quite honestly, I believe I asked the question during a drinking, “never have I ever” session.  Her response stuck with me.

Now, at the age of 34, I still have come across women my age who refuse to admit that they masturbate.  Now, it’s quite possible that these women actually do not masturbate (though sometimes it’s easy to tell when someone is lying).  There’s a whole train of thought (see what I did there….probably should be school of thought, but whatever) that says that you should masturbate in order to learn what you like.  How will your partner know what to do if you don’t know what you like?  I can see the logic behind that.  I also wonder, for those who aren’t getting “it” on a regular basis, how the urge to release doesn’t overcome them and lead them to a point of masturbation.  Maybe I’m just a guy with no self control, lol.

Then there’s the women who probably actually masturbate, but refuse to admit it.  Again, at my younger age, I could understand this thought process, but as someone in their mid-thirties, I’m not sure what the reservation is.  Sure, random women may not want to share this information with me.  What business of mine is it anyway?  I get that, but when having honest conversations with a friend, why the refusal to admit if you are indeed masturbating?

It certainly speaks for the way that men and women are brought up.  Most men have no issue admitting it.  They sometimes celebrate this fact.  But what is it that we tell women in their early years that makes them want to keep hush about their bedroom activities?  I’m sure it’s along the same lines of how men can get away with having a ton of sexual partners whereas women can’t have too many for fear of being labeled.

I don’t know how to change this, but men and women are equal.  Their sexual exploits should not be viewed differently.  I find it crass (yep, I just used the word crass) for anyone to speak too openly about their sexual exploits.  I don’t want to hear about a man masturbating in detail, and though because I’m a man I wouldn’t mind hearing about a woman masturbating in detail (no need to call me a pig), I think it all should be kept to oneself and only shared with your partner or close friends playing, “never have I ever.”