Dating to Exclusive


When does it become clear, in an adult relationship, that two people are in a committed relationship?  At a certain point, we get passed the point of asking, will you be my gf/bf.  So as adults, we date people and hope that they are progressing similarly.  Communication, as I have stated in other posts, is key but some feel that they put themselves out there by asking that question.  We are all very guarded, normally, at the beginning of a relationship so by professing your desire to be “exclusive,” you are showing your hand.  What if the other individual doesn’t feel the same?  How will they react?  Will this ruin our progress if we aren’t on the same page?

It sounds immature, but I have spoken with plenty of people who have wondered (early in the relationship) whether or not their mate considered their relationship exclusive.  Personally, most woman I’ve dated never stated or asked me directly if we were exclusive and I normally haven’t asked either.  There was also a Seinfeld episode where George and Jerry discuss whether or not George is in a committed relationship.  Jerry asked questions like, “is Saturday night date night implied, or is it discuss.”  I believe Jerry ultimately ends by asking if the female had any products in the medicine cabinet.  After confirming this, Jerry concludes the George is in a relationship.

So, do we rely on non-verbal cues, or other verbal clues to make that determination?  If she’s really affectionate with me, and spends most of her time with, can I conclude that she’s all mine?  If she tells me intimate things about herself, or expresses how much she likes me, then can I conclude that she’s all mine?  When is the line actually crossed, what does it look like, and if we don’t cross it together, can I just wait until she gets there?  If I move to fast, will I scare her off?

I think many people wonder this, but is there a right answer?  I stick with communication, but that’s just me.  Who knows.

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