I once had a friend tell me that I didn’t allow myself to by happy. At the time I was like, “what the hell does that even mean?” I didn’t get it. I found myself to be genuinely happy. I didn’t complain about stuff…well no more than your average person. And so it went.
Well years later, I’m beginning to see what she was talking about. I mean, I wasn’t completely delusional in my thought that I was a happy person. But I do realize that I had a tendency to expect bad things, so I would protect myself by not allowing myself to get too high, so the inevitable fall wasn’t so painful. I think the term that highlights it best is “not living in the moment.” Is that a term? Whatever you want to call it, I have realized it. Enjoying oneself is very hard for people to do. I see it in others as well. We live our lives thinking that if we just make it over this next hump, or passed this next obstacle, things will be great. Not realizing that over every hill, and passed every obstacle, lies another challenge. That’s just the nature of life. For some of us, it’s self fulfilling. We strive to do more, and to conquer all, so we give ourselves challenges that stress us out. So the time to be happy is now.
However we do it, we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy the moment. We don’t allow ourselves to see that most of us have much more positive going on than negative. We don’t smile as often as we should. We don’t do things that will make us happy more than we do the things that we think we feel obligated to do. That can be good because responsibility is part of being an adult, but if we just took a little time, or did just a little planning, we could find moments (big or small) to make ourselves happy. We also need to realize that sometimes doing things that make other people happy is what will make us happy. If the people around you are happy, then that should increase your happiness. Think about your kids, your spouse, significant other, friends, and even co-workers. Make YOUR world a happy place.
I don’t mean to stand on a soap box, or use a bunch of cliches to make a point. Allowing yourself to be happy, in theory, is common sense. Its practical application is much more difficult. I don’t have a silver bullet that will automatically make anyone change their perspective, but I think being aware is a good start. That’s all I’ve got for now. If you want more guidance, you’ll have to pay for it. 😉 LOL. I’m still a work in progress myself, but I feel like I’ve made significant improvements since that comment was made to me. Do with this, as you wish. Thanks for listening to my ramblings….
(Falling down can be a sobering moment, but unparalleled heights of intoxicating happiness not only serve as stepping stones up, but as cushions for the fall; a fall that is in most cases, temporary)