Monthly Archives: February 2012

My Star Watching (Part 4 of 4)

My Star Watching

To all lost and fallen soldiers

You left your footprints in the sand as you left U.S soil

And your aspiration of bearing arms has given me a sense of security

How I wish your loved ones could see you again

If for just a moment

To say an everlasting nothing

That could quiet that deafening silence

Missing you does not seem as if it’s enough

And no amount of tears seems to ever make the pain go away

Sometimes I shed empty tears

Like a dry heave

The pain seems much heavier then

I will eventually come to terms

But make no mistake

Acceptance is not getting over….

I could never get over it, and I’m not trying

Life without you is not the same

Because you have touched many people

Saved many more who don’t even know you

We as a country will never forget you

By name, we may not know you

But your plight will remain in our minds

Your sacrifice will remain in our hearts

You were my soldier who watched over

And taken prematurely

So now you are represented by the sky

The heavens where you now reside

All of you twinkle and shine on us

A presence that will always be felt

Our Star Watching…My Star Watching

Thank you.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

In a romantic relationship, love is presumably the goal. Being in love with someone is the epitome of a romantic connection.  It should be the one emotion that beats all other emotions.  That’s debatable, but not the point here.  However, the journey to being in love with someone…the falling, is also a key component to a relationship.  My question is, which one is better?

Let’s see.  Falling in love is full of many things.  There’s the opportunity to learn new things about your mate.  You learn about your common interests, and you come to cherish your differences.  You try new things together, and really make an effort at seeing the other person happy.  It’s a romantic dance that has your heart fluttering and adrenaline rushing with every moment.  Even when arguing, you do so with such passion because you don’t want to let them slip away.

There’s also the insecurity.  Not knowing your mate well enough to know if this fight is something that will blow over, or will be the end of the two of you.  A fight or disagreement that lasts any extended amount of time (over two hours) feels like a lifetime.  Is she truly happy with me and does he see us together for the long term?  Two people are very protective over their feelings in this stage, neither wanting to give too much of themselves for fear of exposing themselves too much and allow the other person to actually hurt them.  It’s a chess match that most want to play like checkers; carefree and just enjoying the moment, but usually ends up dominated by calculated moves, and reassessment of the current state of things.

Being in love is quite different though.  You are able to bathe in the comfort of knowing you and your mate are in this together.  You, whether or not you are married, are a team.  You understand that it is you versus them, and that’s a great feeling.  You know what they are feeling, sometimes before they feel it. You have your routines, and you are perfectly happy with those routines as long as you have your partner by your side.

Is boredom a side effect?  Does one yearn for the heart fluttering and adrenaline rushing.  The days of having doors opened for you are over, and sexy clothing and sweet perfume are reserved for extra special occasions.  Many aspects of the relationship may now be a chore. :-/

I’m sure most would say that they’d like a combination of the two, but I don’t know if that’s possible.  So which one really is better? I don’t know, but it was on my mind.  As I wrote this, I also began to think of how important how you fall in love is to how being in love will be.  That’s probably material for another blog.  Ah well.

Nostalgia Interruptus

Here’s a thought

Facebook came on the scene, and has been a huge hit.  People love it, because it allows you to stay in touch with friends and family, share information, and reconnect with people you haven’t seen in years.  It answers that question, “I wonder what so and so is up to these days.”  Beautiful right?

Not so fast….

What has me thinking today, is the idea of how Facebook ruins memories.  How?  Before Facebook, and for that matter MySpace, you had distinct memories of these people from your past.  You had emotions connected to these memories, good or bad.  Memories that created feelings of nostalgia, that you would revisit from time to time.  However, with the advent of these and other social media mediums, we’ve been reintroduced to these people, and the reintroduction has not always been pleasant.  Some of those happy memories have now been replaced with, “wow, s/he is really an asshole,” or “I can’t believe they support that theory/idea/viewpoint.”  Then there are the users who have the pleasure or displeasure of seeing how well or badly some of us have aged and what we have done with our lives.  “S/he used to be so attractive, but look at them now,” or “I can’t believe they married so and so.”  Finally, for those of us who are softies, we may have come onto these mediums hoping to reconnect with someone we were really close with, or had great times with, only to find that we no longer have anything in common with that person.  Not only do you have nothing in common, but outside of a pleasant reintroduction message (assuming you got one instead of a message-less friend request), you have barely said two words to one another.  :-/

However, the glass can be half full.  Maybe you’ve reconnected and it’s been all good.  But does your current relationship blur the original memories?  Would we be better off leaving those people in the past?  Eh (shrugs), maybe your current view of that person is better than your original memory.  If so, I guess it was worth it.

(flush)

My Star Watching (part 3 of 4)

My Star Watching

My child

I gave you life

You gave me youth

And for years on end we exchanged priceless gifts

I learned from you and you became an adult because of me

I have shed many droplets of tears because of you, joy and pain

And the wrinkles on my face represent the smiles that you gave me

Even exchange I suppose

But I wouldn’t have given you up for anything

If I could have gripped you tighter as you got older

I would’ve never let go

You were my Star

My little angel who God had blessed me with

You were a little piece of me

And a whole lot of you

These memories make me want to apologize

The things I could have done differently

I even sometimes said some hurtful things

But through it all, we have made it

Your graduation, and determination to serve

I’m going to make a difference, you would say

Not knowing you already had

If I could only tell you not to take these steps

But you were an adult, and you have to make adult decisions

Sadly, you paid adult prices and now your soul has gone

I still feel your presence

I hear your laughter in the backyard

And the smell from the exhaust of that beat up car

Oddly enough makes me smile…..cry

I look to see you again

My Star Watching

My Star Watching (part 2 of 4)

Oh, My Star Watching

My Sweet Wife

I remember that last night

We lay in the warmth of our bed

And we stared in to each other not saying a word

Just smiling

And as the air conditioning hummed in the background

We found comfort in twiddling our toes with one another

And our embrace found two racing hearts

Screaming out to one another…yearning to express their love

Wishing they could reach out and hold each other

Because as morning approached

We knew you would soon depart

For another land of uncertainty

That good-bye kiss meaning ever so much

As the breath we shared when our lips parted

Penetrated every inch of my soul

And sent chills to the back of my neck

The weakness in my knees made me sense something more

You were off to defend our country

And the thought of what could happen would make me sick

But we held on to a faith

A faith that we had built as strong as our family

We would let the Stars be our comfort

They would remind us that life was more than what we could ever imagine

And we could always share that…the Stars

So when I received news of your passing in heavy fire

I swallowed tears because you let it rain on me at dusk

And your salty tears comforted my weak body

Built a strength I didn’t know I possessed, but I see now

I see you

At night I lay…..pray…and gaze

To My Star Watching

 

What comes first?

I think most people would agree that sex is an important part of a relationship.  However, what comes first?  Does good sex help make a good relationship, or does a good relationship predicate good sex?

Maybe it all depends on the people involved.  Some may just be bumbling idiots when it comes to sex, at the outset, especially if they are inexperienced.  Others may just be God/Goddess like right out the gate.  Neither of these experiences rely on an emotional connection so if you judge the potential for a relationship based on these early sexual experiences, you probably think sex comes first.  Sex is in the drivers seat.  Don’t go feeling shallow….I’ve heard plenty of people (honestly, mostly women) say that if sex isn’t good, then they aren’t sticking around.  But are they selling themselves short?  Could they be missing out on something great in the long run; when/if the emotional connection develops?  If your relationships have been full of good sex, and these relationships are in the rear view, maybe it’s time to change it up.  Give your bumbling idiot a chance…could be the best sex of your life, and a great relationship would compliment it.

Some of you are second guessing yourselves now.  Maybe thinking of taking the less, perceived, shallow route.  Giving the emotional part time before yielding to the signs of the physical.  Oh, what an argument for waiting until marriage.  I mean seriously, regardless of how good, or potentially bad, it may be at first, the emotional connection….LOVE, will cure all.  Your frustrations in the bedroom will be forgotten for the greater good of the emotional relationship.  Shoot, I think I lost some of you on that one.  Ha

My thought is, a good relationship can save bad sex, through communication and a genuine interest in pleasing your partner…but good sex can’t save a bad relationship.  It may prolong it, but that’s about it.  I felt good as I wrote that and I think it sounds good, but it’s almost a cop out on my part because it leaves a lot of room in between.  Can an okay relationship save bad or okay sex?  Can good sex save an okay relationship.  Is it a good relationship except for the sex?  Should we settle for “okay” in any part of a relationship to begin with, and so on and so on.  Maybe there’s no right answer, but maybe it made you think.

Share your thoughts if you are so inclined.

My Star Watching (part 1)

I wrote this poem, out of respect to all of the fallen soldiers, who have given their lives to defend our country.  Whether we believe in the wars they fought, or not, they should be remembered and honored.  I will split this up into four parts since altogether it would be way to long. I hope you enjoy.

My brother
I remember that last night
We feasted like kings
And as the light flickered amongst the diminishing wax
And the smell of heavy cigars lingered
We reflected upon a time when we were not concerned with days ahead
When tomorrow’s  plans consisted of repeating yesterday’s adventure
But we had faced a new time
The Uncle had called
And your cavalry was riding the next day
So time we shared…reminiscing and enjoying what we had
And as you rode off, the burning in my gut nearly broke me
But I held a strong front, for the support you needed I was determined to give
Be well, and keep your eye on the Star
The Star being the Sun
The one thing we could share day in and day out
When you’re lonely look to the Star
Let it be our companion
I remember those as being my last words to you
My last words to you…..
Who knew that they would truly be
The visit I received
The flag handed to me
The loss emptied me, as each organ felt as if it deteriorated on the spot
On this Earth we will never meet again
But I remember our escape
Our comfort
So as I sit and cry I know I am not alone
I know, that you are My Star Watching

 

(to be continued)