To fight, or not to fight…

When in a relationship, I don’t like to fight.  I’m sure that’s no surprise because anyone you talk to will probably tell you that.  Everybody wants things to be peace and peachy.  However, some people will always find themselves in relationships where fighting is a key ingredient.  That’s not to say it’s a bad thing.  There are couples who have been married for decades, who are madly in love, but a key ingredient to their relationship is the fighting.

I imagine that there is a perfect amount of fighting that should take place for a couple, dependent on said couple.  It works for some, and it just won’t work for others,  But as much as I don’t like to fight, I was watching a show today, and it made me realize that without the fighting, you can’t really enjoy the good times.  How do you know what happiness is, if you’ve never felt sadness right?  Same concept.  Sometimes you don’t know how good you have it with someone until you balance it with how bad it could be if you fought all of the time…or worse, if you were to lose them altogether.  You appreciate the good times more that way instead of taking them for granted.  And you would try to make all of your times, good times.  At least, that’s what you do if you’re an adult and mature about it.

I also learned, in a previous relationship, that the lack of fighting isn’t always a sign of a good relationship.  No one is completely compatible with someone else.  You are not going to agree with, like, and understand everything that someone else does, so disagreements are bound to happen.  We agreed that if you’re not fighting, it may be a symptom of something bigger….. YOU’RE NOT COMMUNICATING….honestly that is.  You have to be able to tell your partner what bothers you, what annoys you, and what’s truly on your mind.  You don’t have to be an ass or a bitch about it, just open and honest communication.

If you don’t, you will find yourself in the middle of a huge blow up that starts for one reason, but ends up being the one fight to make up for all of the little things you’ve noted in your head for the past few months.  How does anyone answer/account for, or even make sense of all the things you have swimming in your head, as they are coming out of your mouth in the most disorganized of ways?  They don’t.  Your partner will not have a fighting chance.  So, to fight or not to fight.  I guess there’s no real answer because like with many things….”it all depends.”  In any case, it boils down to communication.  If you can communicate openly, you have a shot.


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