Monthly Archives: January 2012

Hear what you want/need to hear

Love….by Musiq Soulchild

I have a vivid memory of hearing that song after my aunt’s funeral.  It may have been the first time I actually heard that song.  It started with the opening lines of that song, where I changed the words.  Well actually just one word.  The word Love was replaced with Lord.  I heard that song earlier this week which made me think of this, but not every time I hear that song I have to remind myself of the real words.

Lord….there’s so many things I’ve got to tell you, but I’m afraid I don’t know how.  Cuz there’s a possibility that you’ll look at me differently, Lord….ever since the first moment, I spoke your name.  From then on I knew, that by you being in my life, things were destined to change….

Maybe the words don’t make sense for a funeral, but it was what I needed to hear at the time.  It offered the comfort that was necessary for me to get through that moment.  If you know the song I’m referring to, however, and replace the word Love with Lord, you’ll see how much sense it actually makes.  I’m not all that much of a religious person, but I do believe in God and am always amazed at how the mind works…how God works.

To fight, or not to fight…

When in a relationship, I don’t like to fight.  I’m sure that’s no surprise because anyone you talk to will probably tell you that.  Everybody wants things to be peace and peachy.  However, some people will always find themselves in relationships where fighting is a key ingredient.  That’s not to say it’s a bad thing.  There are couples who have been married for decades, who are madly in love, but a key ingredient to their relationship is the fighting.

I imagine that there is a perfect amount of fighting that should take place for a couple, dependent on said couple.  It works for some, and it just won’t work for others,  But as much as I don’t like to fight, I was watching a show today, and it made me realize that without the fighting, you can’t really enjoy the good times.  How do you know what happiness is, if you’ve never felt sadness right?  Same concept.  Sometimes you don’t know how good you have it with someone until you balance it with how bad it could be if you fought all of the time…or worse, if you were to lose them altogether.  You appreciate the good times more that way instead of taking them for granted.  And you would try to make all of your times, good times.  At least, that’s what you do if you’re an adult and mature about it.

I also learned, in a previous relationship, that the lack of fighting isn’t always a sign of a good relationship.  No one is completely compatible with someone else.  You are not going to agree with, like, and understand everything that someone else does, so disagreements are bound to happen.  We agreed that if you’re not fighting, it may be a symptom of something bigger….. YOU’RE NOT COMMUNICATING….honestly that is.  You have to be able to tell your partner what bothers you, what annoys you, and what’s truly on your mind.  You don’t have to be an ass or a bitch about it, just open and honest communication.

If you don’t, you will find yourself in the middle of a huge blow up that starts for one reason, but ends up being the one fight to make up for all of the little things you’ve noted in your head for the past few months.  How does anyone answer/account for, or even make sense of all the things you have swimming in your head, as they are coming out of your mouth in the most disorganized of ways?  They don’t.  Your partner will not have a fighting chance.  So, to fight or not to fight.  I guess there’s no real answer because like with many things….”it all depends.”  In any case, it boils down to communication.  If you can communicate openly, you have a shot.

Introduction and more

Hello all.  As the title of this post would indicate, I’m relatively new to the blogging community.  I tried it once on another site, with limited success, but am attempting to take another crack at it.

It should be noted that there may not be much rhyme or reason to some of the things I write.  I say what’s on my mind, and hope to engage in some conversations.  I write poetry (who doesn’t these days), and will attempt to get a short story published one day.  However, until then, I’ll use blogging as a semi-creative outlet.

I won’t continue to bore you with an introduction, but I do have something on my mind.  I often wonder about human behavior and intentions.  I can’t seem to shake the notion that everyone has good intentions, but somehow get sidetracked.  I have been known to over analyze things, and probably to my detriment.  For example, I’ve thought about starting a blog for sometime now, yet I’m just getting around to doing it.  The only thing that prompted the “just do it” attitude was finally realizing there was no real downside.  What if I have nothing to say?  What if people don’t read it?  What if, what if, what if??  Truthfully, it wouldn’t matter.  There’s is no real detriment with any of those things happening.  Anyway, I’m getting away from my point.  My point is, I have had plenty of negative thoughts.  Thoughts of how I’m going to be or act just to piss someone else off, or prove myself as a superior being.  However, I’m usually able to use rational thinking to determine that the destructive path isn’t worth it.  It’s probably causing me more harm than anyone else.

This is not to say I’m holier than thou.  Quite the contrary, I’m probably just like you.  It’s those other individuals who take things to the extreme that I really direct this question at.  In your own mind, or when presented with rationale that conflicts with your negative motivation, you still must push through with the destructive plan.  I can’t put my finger on why that is.  Why at work, you refuse to realize that sabotaging your coworker’s work, in the long run, is bad for the team (including you).  Why you refuse to understand that purposefully pissing off your mate is wrong.  Why you refuse to see that giving an elderly parent the silent treatment will come back to haunt you.  I don’t know.  Everyone has their reasons I guess.  I’m sure plenty of people have questioned my actions.  Make no mistake, I’m not judging, I’m just left wondering.  I have a lot of work to do on myself, so that’s where I will choose to focus my energy, but my observant eye will not let go of that wonder anytime soon.  Oh well.  Welcome to the Thought Toilet.